i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
