I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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