She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize