I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
