please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
