Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
