maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
