the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
