The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Houston, we have a blender
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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