Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
