I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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