are you so shy because you have an std?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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