Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
