Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
