and you said cock pushups were impossible
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
