I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I met the friendliest cop last night
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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