im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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