When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
