did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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