She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
