And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
