My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
