To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize