So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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