After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
