I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
