I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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