Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
