I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
