Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize