I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
