Can Purell be used as lube?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
