it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
