I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
