I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
