she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
