he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
