Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
