Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
