we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
