Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
