I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
