I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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