I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
