When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
