you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
