I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
