He is an equal opportunity slut.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
