So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He passed out mid-signature
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
