Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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