just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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