4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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