Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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