At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Someone came in the potted fern
Is Oprah even human
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize