Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
