Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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