we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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