Fuck appropriateness.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
